Spontaneous desire refers to sexual desire that appears on its own, sometimes for no apparent reason: a thought, a sensation, an impulse that arises before any contact or erotic context. Long regarded as the normal form of desire, it is in fact only one way of functioning among others. It tends to be more frequent at the start of a relationship or during certain phases of life. By contrast, responsive desire builds up in response to stimulation. Understanding that these two patterns coexist often helps put the ups and downs of desire within a couple into perspective.
Definition